Unhappy

I've been feeling perpetually unhappy for _______ as long as I can remember. Joke, I could tell my sibling to "take 1 step at a time, dont go and think about those which have not happened yet." Yet, most of the time, i am seen not applying it. So you tell me, I am not the role model myself, how did I ever, how could I even ever, try to talk him round. What happened to my life, a question which I've been consistently asking my own damn bloody self. More often than not, I am not seen with a proper answer. If this has never befall upon her, everything would be okay. I'll be fine. My life won't change. I wont feel fucked, I'll be happy. I'll live happily.

Trying very hard to pretend and i know i succeed. I always do, but right in which we dont even have to go too deep, its tearing. Every single bloody day, it hurts.

Life sucks, that's the word for it.

Merry Christmas?

nothingness ;

That's what ive been constantly feeling. I've never felt such nothingness listless for all I can remember but why had this year been such a mess. A mess where it's so hard to fixed things up. The kinda lousiness you constantly feeling. You know how helpless sometimes I am.. I don't know what to do to cheer myself instantly. Sigh, it sucked all sucked so freaking much